I’m a Christian and I believe in sex and cohabitation before marriage.
My fiance wants to wait till marriage to have sex, but I want to test drive before we get married. He must understand that times have changed and most women would never marry a virgin.
If he won’t change, I’ll find another man who has a higher sex drive.
I’m a Christian and I believe in sex and cohabitation before marriage.
My fiance wants to wait till marriage to have sex, but I want to test drive before we get married. He must understand that times have changed and most women would never marry a virgin.
If he won’t change, I’ll find another man who has a higher sex drive.
You mean you wanna do it in a car?
can i watch/videotape if you do manage to convince him?
Talk him in to trying it with another woman first. Maybe a few. Then ask him what he thinks of it.
then you do not know what love is.
you are not in love with this man or you would marry him even if he was uncapable of ever having sex…..me and my husband never had sex until the night we married and I was a virgin as well…..basicaLLYit sounds like ur saying if hes not good you wont marry him
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/woman-allergic-husbands-sperm/story?id=8987231
Is this the chance he wants to take?
Um…that’s fornication.
What kind of Christian are you? Maybe you should become a Satanist…they can be pretty easy.
God says to do your fiance a favor and let him go so he can find another virgin who also wants to wait to have sex after marriage.
You’re in luck. The Bible does back up your request. Not that you should force him to have sex. But seriously, if you’d have to force him to have sex, then maybe it’s not meant to be.
I probably wouldn’t call it a test drive, though. Think of it more like practice or pre-season. You’re not going to be great at it right off the bat, and it’s better to start when you’re in the mood than feel obligated just because it’s your wedding night.
You can’t pick and choose what you believe about what the Bible says. It says wait so if you are a true Christian you will be a good girl and wait. Have some respect for your fiance.
So you’ve dated this guy long enough to finally get engaged to him without ever once having sex, and now that you’re expected to wait just a few more months you’re threatening to throw away a presumably loving relationship if he doesn’t have sex with you prior to tying the knot?
He’s better off without you.
Wear something slinky and revealing. Resistance will fall away VERY fast.
It sounds like you don’t even love him?
Either you are a troll, or you are confused. You cannot believe in Jesus our Lord, accept Him as the Master of your life and think that it is better to fornicate than to obey Him for the sake of getting a little. I hope this brother has enough sense to run. He is out there trying to do the right thing and you are a stumbling block to him. Shame on you.
I hope you do break up with him, because he can obviously do better and find a girl who will respect him and his values.
And you’re a "Christian" who believes in sex and living together before marriage? You might want to examine how those 2 belief systems can’t reside in the same person.
Wow. OK, I think sex in marrage , at least with young couples, is maybe the most important single thing. I think it’s a great idea to be sure your partner can fulfill your needs and fantasies. And I think it’s a good idea to go find another horse if this one won’t canter. p.s. I also think getting married is probably the worse thing two people in love can do. But, that’s your problem.
So … you’re saying that you’re a slut and you want your fiancee to be a slut-banging stud monkey? Maybe he doesn’t want to marry a slut, and maybe you should re-think this whole marriage thing. You’d probably be better off just putting on a mini skirt and trot on down to Broadway. Marry the first john that offers you $50 for the Screw du Jure. That’s the man for you.
a christian who is not afraid to bend their beliefs a little.
how refreshing is that.
i have a high sex drive.
would you marry an atheist.? 
you should not say your a christian if all you are looking for is sex then you don’t love this guy and you do not believe in the word of God that says sex is for marriage and the question is how many men have you had sex with and is that why it is so important for you to have sex with him to make you feel better because he stand up for his morals
I love it when it’s the woman who wants to "deflower" the man. If you do end up ditching the poor fellow, you should know that I am available. And I am anything but puritanical when it comes to the things of which you have spoken here.
Good plan. Out of curiosity, what would everyone say if genders were reversed? They would probably say that if it’s true love, you would wait.
Do what you think is right. It’s hard to find someone at all, but sex drive incompatibility is frustrating.
See what he will do (kissing, petting, etc.) and try to push the envelope a bit… Does he dance? Try "grinding" him into submission. If he is a total wus, that might be an indication that he has other issues…
Present yourself to him (in a private place like your bedroom) in some sexy dress with a quiet romantic ambiance. If he doesn’t succumb to your offer, get rid of him. Any heterosexual man worth his money would yield to temptation.
wow how respectful…i see why he would want to marry someone who respects him and his beliefs!
You are incorrect. You are not a Christian if you follow the worlds values.
There is not times have changed attitude in the walk with Christ.
So do not go on deceiving yourself about that, nor the rest of us.
Your guy has better sense then you do. I guess you want to just sow your wild oats. Remember this if you do this you will have a terrible life.
God is not mocked. What ever a man or woman sows, so also will they reap, if they do not turn from their wicked ways.
First, get him to admit that he has thought about it. Then explain (in your sultriest tone) that if you have already committed the sin in your mind, then you may as well perform it in the flesh, as both acts are the same in God’s eyes.
Plan B is to have a secret ceremony between you, him, God, and the night manager of the closest Motel 6.
Better yet, go ahead and replace him. If it’s that easy for you to consider, you probably shouldn’t be marrying him anyway.
I don’t understand how you can call yourself a Christian and want to have premarital sex. God has specific rules about premarital sex; all of them say "DON’T DO IT!"
As for "times have changed", the Bible says to not conform to the pattern of this world. Just because the society we live in says it’s okay to have sex before marriage doesn’t mean it’s okay. We’re not talking about cultural morality here. We’re talking about absolute morality.
Your fiance understands this and he is loving you by refusing to have sex with you before the wedding. And your planned response to this loving act is to break off the engagement and find somebody more pliable? If you don’t change, you’d be doing him a favor because right now you don’t deserve him at all.
Tell him that you love him with your mind, but you’d like to love him with your body.
Good for you for waiting this long. I waited until I was a month shy of 23, and am still with the same guy years later, both still monogamous. Since we both went in not really knowing what we were doing, it took awhile to distinguish was came from us and what was just inexperience. My partner turned out to be very selfish sexually. I get migraines bad enough I puke, but even that isn’t a good enough excuse to refuse sex; he pouts for hours. He focuses on penetration instead of stimulation (the clitoris) and won’t take even objective advice. (For example, I can tell him three times in a row that it feels good when he presses forward when fingering me, but he’ll keep doing what he’s doing anyway.) He’s universally grossed out by the idea of going down on a woman. On the positive side, his behavior has forced me to get over my discomfort with sexual activity, because I know I have to take matters into my own hands (literally) if I want an orgasm too. I love him, but I know we’re sexually incompatible. It’s fine for the time being, since I am learning, but I wouldn’t want this for the rest of my life in marriage. It would be unfair to me when I’ve given so much of myself to him.
Who knows what might be lurking in your relationship? I’ve heard horror stories of men with micropenises (less than 3 inches erect) using their religion as an excuse to hide their condition from their wives until they were already married. I have a friend who waited and discoved her husband likes rough sex and hurts her. Since you’re already engaged, I think it’s fair to have an open discussion with your fiance that you want to explore each other sexually before the wedding night. You deserve to know. Don’t catch him off guard, he’s likely to feel ashamed if he gives into temptation without thinking about it first. Don’t let these other people shame you because not every Christian denomination believes virginity is the be-all, end-all of a relationship. The Bible only supports virginity as far as securing a male heir. If a woman was untouched, as the property of her husband she had great value, because he would be the only man she knew. He wouldn’t worry about her straying or making him raise another man’s child.
I like your comment: "I’m a Christian and I believe in sex and cohabitation before marriage." And :"He must understand that times have changed…"
First, being a Christian I would think that you would be a bit familiar with the bible. Maybe the part that states that God is the same today, yesterday and forever. That would seem to say that though the times might be changing, his rules don’t. So, since the bible specifically states that sexual relations before marriage are forbidden, are you trying to say that you are a Christian but you choose not to follow the rules and can’t understand why someone would? Can you see how this statement you threw in there just sort of confuses the whole thing.
Let me say that I can understand both points on this. If I was a Muslim and died in a Jihad I would much rather have a kingdom full of experienced girls who knew how to do what they do….oh yeah…than a bunch of virgins who don’t know anything….!!!!! And since it’s the afterlife I wouldn’t have to worry about VD’s and such, so that would be great. But if your finance is a Christian who believes in following Christs teachings then you may be out of luck.
And you can’t judge a persons sex drive on their religious views. You are also wrong on the "most women" would never marry a virgin statement. Many, many women out there would be ecstatic to know for a fact their man was free and clear, and if they are a Christian, happy to know their man actually followed his beliefs, without confusing them with the changing times and popular beliefs.
A good starting point for you would be to decide on whether you really are a Christian or not, and then go from there.
Than your not a true Christian, In the bible it strictly says that sex is only for married people. It doesn’t matter if times have changed. God’s word is God’s word no matter what.
Look at all the loving Christians who answered your question. Makes you wonder if these hateful, spiteful children are really the people you want to associate yourself with. You are not wrong in wanting to know if your fiance is straight or not. I don’t know why you would even get engaged without trying him out. A guy who won’t have sex before marriage is someone who doesn’t want to have sex bad enough.
Just go down on him one night and see what develops. If he’s straight that’ll work like a charm.If it doesn’t work he’s closeted…and the marriage is doomed anyway.
He’s better off without a dirty woman like you anyway.
You can keep your sex drive, and he can keep his integrity.
You can’t buy class, anyway.
If you’re a virgin yourself there’s no way to know if he’s any better than any other dude, and if you love him, well-then-umm..he will be. If you’re not a virgin, I don’t understand why you need a ‘test drive’. Have you not come to understand what good sex is? I think you’re in the middle, you prude. That’s fine, I can appreciate that, just don’t blame it on him, you’re the one who’s in the …position.
I married a virgin. Biggest mistake I ever made. She was horrible at, well everything.
As amusing as it is, I think you’re a troll. What guy wouldn’t want sex? Unless he’s asexual or gay. And even if you ARE serious, you really sound like you don’t love him.
My fiance wants to wait till marriage to have sex, but I want to test drive before we get married. He must understand that times have changed and most women would never marry a virgin.
If he won’t change, I’ll find another man who has a higher sex drive.
I think its sweet. Dont pressure him. Be happy hes waited for you.
Doesn’t sound like you are right for each other.
<—MARLA THE MISTRESS
Just because he decided to wait until marriage doesn’t mean that he lacks a sex drive.
Sometimes good things really do come to those who wait.
Advice: Energize (batteries) the vibrator and chill until the honeymoon. You’ll be fine.
If you’re not willing to do this for him then there isn’t much chance that your marriage will survive. Marriage takes compromise and knowing when to pick your battles. If you feel so strongly againt something that he wants to think of as special then you really shouldn’t be getting married.
Why do you assume that most women wouldn’t marry a virgin?
You both don’t match up now what’s gonna happen later on after the marriage??
If having sex with this guy is most important, than perhaps he isn’t the man for you. I think you are wise to move on and find someone who feels as you do.
You must not be a virgin ?
You had it before girl ?
You had the magic stick before ?
You been driven around the block a few times ?
Somebody better know what to do
This night is so important..not educational
This is beautiful..but ancient
Get him some drinks. start kissing and nature will take over
Hi nature will rise..and mother nature will blossom
Good sex is an issue in marriage. Who has the time to educate this man ? Do you ?
If you really love him, you’ll respect his wishes and wait with him. Sex is by far not the most important component in a successful relationship.
I respect his integrity and wanting to wait for the wedding night(I wished I had), however, it doesn’t seem that you love him that all much if you can’t wait and you’d actually think of cheating or dumping him over this. If this be the case, then let him go now so he can find a woman whose not going to end up probably cheating on him years from now because he "doesn’t meet your needs" sexually.
To me, it’s like opening the presents before Christmas. What good is it to wake up to nothing under the tree? Sure, you still got presents but it’s not the same as opening them on the day. Honestly, you don’t sound ready for marriage because you seem selfish.
being in love is one thing…But if you can’t test drive the "GOODS" hmmmmm… I would worry how much there is to test drive? Sorry..
He is right and you are wrong. Where in the bible does it say you get to have a test drive? It says a woman shall go to her husband a virgin. If you’re not a virgin then he should find himself another woman. I know I don’t want sloppy seconds or leftovers, would you? Having sex before marriage is wrong, you break at least two of God’s commands, 1 – Honor thy mother and thy father and 2 – a woman shall go to her husband a virgin. In having sex before marriage you betray your parents trust, disobey God’s commands, commit fornication, allow Satan into your life and become a S*** and a Wh*** all at the same time. God does not bless fornication. Still think he is wrong? Times haven’t changed, birth control is not a free pass for unwed women to have sex with their bf’s, and obeying Gods commands will never be old fashioned. If you would have requested to have sex with me before we were married you would be my ex gf two seconds after. If you want to do it with me, then you must have already done it with someone else and want a comparison test run and I don’t need that. I’ll look for a woman with higher standards and better morals.
If these are her wishes don’t pressure her, it is not right.
Your awful "I’ll find another man who has a higher sex drive" tell your fiance that right now.
Show him your question on "yahoo answers" so he’ll get some sense and leave you.
you can’t be serious???why the hell are you engaged???
well tell her you try before you bye haha
Well you said he is your fiance you must have waited some time until this post to want to do it. Why leave him now because you want to have a test drive you should have wanted to do that a long time ago before the engagment. Evidentally you was honoring his wishes why not now.
You don’t need a test drive. Your husband will gain experience from sleeping with you.
To me it sounds like me in some ways because I love it and my man plzs me to the fullest but if I found out he doesnt perform good sex and we are already married we will be in big trouble because I wouldn’t want to be with him if he doesn’t satify me I would make his life hell just because we have to file a divorce. But overall he would have to let me do something. If its huge you will be ok but if not you will have trouble in paradise!! But if you love him you will be willing to sacrifice….
If you convince him and keep on pushing him to do so your going too push him away and he’s going to resent you in the end trust me. If you don’t respect him how do you expect him too respect you. just end it. if you really cared about him you would respect his wishes. I wish i had a virgin fiance at least i would know he didn’t have sex with all these women. YOU DON’T NEED A TEST DRIVE IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE.
Listen ur Fiance is doing you a favor and you should thank him Why?
No one wants to sin against God and Sex before marriage is a grave sin huge sin called fornication.
Check out these fasinating scriptures Romans 1:26,27 and Hebrews 13:4. Look up the word fornication. After you get married make sure ur avoid Adultery
i grew up in a christian home i understand the back ground but i also understand the test drive you have try the shoe on before you wear it lol i agree ya know he may not agree to this if you are truely in love with him i think you can wait and you both can have fun exploring each others bodys for a long time if your worried about his size large or small or if there are certain things you know that will make you get there share those things if your really insistant that your going to need to be with him before you will agree to marriage he will either respect that and jump on bord most guys would besides if hes a virgin honey his first time is going to be one two ejaculate and baby you are not going to cum that fast with all that said it up to u and i dont think its about sex drive most guys that are virgins are more worried their first time they wont please you which is almost always the case
This relationship is doomed. Let him go so he can find someone that’s willing to wait with him.